Planters.

I have spent my entire MLKJ Day trying to be sedate and less grumpy than usual. I should have known that was going to the dogs when I started my day at Walmart, Whole Foods,  and Target. Nevertheless, I came home and sat down to watch The West Wing (which I was planning to spend most of the day doing), and everything was ruined.

I grabbed a handful of mixed nuts out of the little metal container I keep on my kitchen counter for occasions suiting a snack and threw it in my mouth as unattractively as anyone ever has and as I do at least three times a day. That's when it happened. The "deluxe" on the can was supposed to mean I was getting almonds and walnuts and whatever else, but NOT PEANUTS. Yet, somehow, I got a peanut.

I'm on day 11 of this diet without any slips or giving into my cravings, but I get halfway and a peanut slips by. I knew that taste as soon as it hit my tongue, but my brain couldn't convince my teeth to stop chewing. As someone who has eaten peanut butter everyday for at least the last six months, I knew that taste. I had missed that taste. I couldn't enjoy it. It came 10 days too early.

Instead of my calm, Sorkin-filled day, I sit here thinking about that stupid Planters peanut man mocking me. Staring at me with his stupid cane and monocle. So pretentious.

He knew what he was doing.