Good Afternoon

Usually I post when I get home from work but I have a date tonight (with Lara) to see Rock of Ages so I'll probably forget.

I went to the eye doctor today for the first time in my life. It was less painful than I thought it would be except for making me feel ancient. Turns out part of my cornea is farsighted and part of it is nearsighted so I just can't see in general. I picked out some glasses that really make me look like a nerd, but I only have to wear them when I'm doing things that require focusing like reading or watching TV. That's pretty much all I do so this could get interesting. Maybe I'll be able to read the TV now. Also, no one told me how much glasses cost, including the morons at the eye place so I got a little frustrated. She told me the total and when I asked her to explain to me how plastic and glass cost so much, my mother freaked out and told me not to talk anymore. I thought it was a valid question. We'll see if these things actually work and if they don't I'm getting that money back.

I ate lunch with my mother which would be normal, but nothing about my life is normal. She went on a date last night and thought it was appropriate to give me all of the details. I already had a headache from dilated eyes then she made me want to puke with all that nonsense. This guy has four kids that all have four names. He has no wife because she ran away. When I asked why she ran away Mother acted like that was a ridiculous question. Then my older brother and his girlfriend called her on speakerphone to hear all about it and asked her a lot more details. Girlfriend is just so interested in every detail and starts screaming like a banshee when Mother tells her he brought roses to the restaurant. Neither of them understand why that is appalling to me. "You don't understand romance." Well Girlfriend is dating my brother who is one of the goofiest people I know and my mother is old and senile. I just had to excuse myself from the rest of the conversation before they brainwashed me. I plan to call Jordan later to relay the details and see if I can make him puke.

Lauren Mann has figured out that a lot of the Bryant guys are in gangs so I'm really happy we got out of there but I'm worried Candice might need to bring a weapon to the desk. As if they weren't scary before.

Oh and Mary Beth sent me this link while I was at the doctor's office and I legit almost cried. It's terrifying. READ IT
Candice and I are now planning to adopt. The cats might need something to play with.


I'm about to go to work now then meet Lara to gripe about our adult lives in boring towns. Alec Baldwin awaits. Cheerio.

(Brokenhearted is on Pandora at this very moment.)